Burnout and Disappointment

In 2018 I nearly had an emotional break down. I was shocked that I was in this position. How can I have missed all the signs and ignored my feelings for so long. These were feelings of being trapped in a job with no way out. I felt isolated. It felt like there was no-one to help even though I had support groups and people around me. I felt I needed to get myself out of this.

Truth is I couldn’t do it alone and yes I was crying out to God but I wasn’t listening to his replies. My stress had become my crutch and there were many scape goats that I was blaming. I wasn’t taking personal responsibility.

I had allowed false expectations of work, ministry, disappointments and hurt from Christian brothers and sisters to live in my soul. I hadn’t turned to Jesus the Healer and worked with His Spirit to begin to forgive and extinguish the pain and bring a fresh outpouring of His Spirit to fill the empty spaces.

Realising my need of Jesus my Saviour afresh and with the help of my Christian brothers and sisters to lay hands on me over time this really helped. Also my reintroduction of good habits like: a daily pattern of Bible reading, weekly Sabbath rest, weekly prayer soaking and Christian meditation, weekly prayer walks with our dog, monthly quiet days, and quarterly retreats. This isn’t a shopping list but they all helped me.

I found some really peaceful music on YouTube for Prayer soaking and often I would just sleep. Psalm 127: 2 (NIV) describes the problem and the solution I found, “In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat- for He grants sleep to those he loves”

Over time I was regularly spending time with Father, Son and Holy Spirit and regularly having hands laid upon me in prayer, there was a shift in my mind-set. I finally realised it’s not my ministry, not my project, not my church but His. What a relief the peace of Jesus settled upon me as I reflected on Matthew 11: 28-30 (NIV), “Come to me all who labour and are heavy laden … For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light”

Please don’t wait, like me, until you’re almost burned out to realise Jesus is the only one that will make the difference in your life and work. It’s His work not yours. Please don’t isolate yourself, talk and pray with Christian brothers and sisters. There is Hope and Healing available as we allow The Holy Spirit to work on our hurts, disappointment and false expectations. Forgiveness is often linked as we break our chains connected to those who have hurt us.

Whether you define yourself as a Christian or not, if you’re struggling, please reach out. We’d love to hear from you and help you.

Paul & Laura